Cattle Fight, But Where is the Cow? 

People back in my village have unusual habits (usual for them) of talking to their cattle and I was no different from others. I also used to talk to them with utmost seriousness and sincerity and they used to listen to me with all their concentration (that’s how I perceived their natural silence). The cattle were highly versatile as audience and used to move or respond (at least I interpreted that way) the way I wanted. If I was angry because of some reasons then the cattle could feel the heat of this strong emotion called anger. Singing song or dancing around them, everything was great and they never complained. They always offered their self as scapegoat too to me whenever I needed them for certain work which I was not able to complete; If I did not complete my homework, it was my cattle who consumed my entire productive day as they took me away in the jungle while grazing. I blamed them for so many things but let me tell you they never complained about this behaviour of mine. In fact sometimes (actually, most of the time) they acted as a great saviour to me and pulled me out of some tough situations especially on days when I did not want to go to school. Whenever I had a premonition that today my teacher will fulfil his non-veg aspirations by making a “Murga” out of a great human (me) then I ensured that I took a leave from school with the excuse to my parents that “today I have to take my cattle to the pond” as I have promised them a bath at pond on Monday and so I am not going to school. After all a promise is a promise, I don’t know whether my cattle really appreciated this great obligation of mine (taking them to pond) under the banner of a promise made to none.

I really don’t remember how sensitive we were to human beings but we were certainly so sensitive to our cattle that we used to have regular fights over cattle which I believe the cattle must have appreciated. I can recall the incident when two of our neighbours (sitting over a drink; not cow milk obviously) had a great fight over a space for cow. When one of our neighbours told the other that he is planning to buy a cow, to which the other responded that where you will keep or tie her as you don’t have space. The first showed him the space for tying the cow which was just on the street. Somehow the other neighbour did not like the idea as it might have blocked the passage (even though everyone used to do the same) so he objected strongly and disallowed him for keeping/tying the cow in the middle of the street. And then the happy hours of desi daaru transformed into Kurukshtra’s battle ground resulting into the severe injuries and hospitalization of multiple family members (well this is a usual village scene). Finally to bring a closure to the issue, after some days the matter was discussed in the Panchayat and after listening to the entire matter, Sarpanch asked, “Where is the Cow?”
“Well, the cow, I am planning to buy after the end of this crop season (after 4-5 months)”the first neighbour said.
So, this is the intensity of our sensitivity towards cattle which often led to big fights over them even if they are not there. Poor Cattle and intelligent villagers.

Yes, intelligent enough to understand the relationship between the cattle of same species or cross species. My parents had taught me from the first day that Cow is our Mother (Ma) and when my teacher taught me that Cat (Billi) is called as our Mausi, I did not make any mistake in understanding that Cow and cat are Sisters. And I assumed that it to be a matter of great intelligence to understand such a complicated relationship. However, when I shared this derivation of relationship with my mom to bring this great characteristic of mine to her attention, she somehow could not digest it. Poor Mother did not understand that when people are educated they can establish or find relationship between two unknown factors. Anyhow, my mother tried to understand the theory which I explained but she did not buy the point that “How can a Cat be called as mausi” and she was very furious with my teacher. What the hell these teachers are teaching me in school to make me educated and she thought to pay a visit to my school teacher. And the next day, the conversation was very simple. My mom asked the teacher “Is cat called as Mausi?” and the teacher simply answered “Yes”. My mom did not take a chance of debating fearing that her illiteracy might come out in the open. So she silently accepted the answer and the relationship too without getting into much detail.

But sometimes I wonder where the intelligence of finding relationships has gone; the relationships which are so simple and even between the same species. Cat & Cow relationship theory may sound complicated but have we have lost the sense of understanding a simple relationship between human to human? This is the question raised by the cattle of Muzzafarnagar’s villages. Or have we, the poor villagers, become so inhuman but overtly sensitive about cattle, that we are willing to kill each other over the cattle which do not even exist?! Sometimes I think the situation has somehow changed and we, because we spoke so much to the cattle, have transformed into the cattle ourselves and the “educated” politicians have become the cattle (read poor villagers) owners. Now we are being used as scapegoat, or saviour depending upon the need, situation and comfort of the cattle owner (read politician/bureaucrat). The cattle folk are being mobilized and blamed as per convenience. If this is how we are paying for being extra sensitive towards out cows then I really feel very apologetic for what I did to my cattle during the early days of my life in the village. I never thought that this is how my brothers, friends, mother and sisters will pay for it. I am so sorry for those mindless actions. We, back there in village, are actually turning into cattle as per another theory which I read in the Ramayan – Bhavnaheen Vyakti Pashu ke Samaan Hota hai (A human without emotion is just like an animal or may be more dangerous).

I wish if I could use my intelligence again like I did in my childhood, and find another theory like the Cat & Cow one, to help those poor villagers understand that there is no point in fighting if there is no Cow. I wish I could find a theory to help them understand that we are somehow transforming into an altogether different species of cattle mobilized by rare species of human owners.

After spending so many years with corporate and brands, this is the best that I can show them now at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN-NuPsGQXI